Dying to be Human
by Ink Spotz
Summary: He never thought he'd be a vampire. He never thought he'd be dying to be human. James is on the run from the only life he has ever known all because he has turned into a vampire. He doesn't know where to turn and who he can trust. His one desire is to be human again. Will James find the humanity he is searching for? Or will he be a monster for life?
1. Thirst

Chapter 1

_"So thirsty."_

James crept toward the door, his presence undetectable for the time being. He reached forward and placed his hand on the door. He couldn't control it anymore. If he loved her, he shouldn't have let her stay where she was in danger. Lucy could hear the door creak open and she knew immediately who it was.

"Hi James! Dinner is almost ready," said Lucy. "I can't believe this is our one year anniversary dinner."

"I can't either," he said, his throat feeling like it was on fire. He needed to quench his thirst and fast. But he loved Lucy. How could he do this to her?

It was because he was a monster now.

Lucy still had her back to James as he neared her. He would make it quick. He sniffed the air and could smell the tantilizing smell of her blood. It was so close.

_"Must quench thirst."_

James stepped forward until he had his arms wrapped around Lucy, his head on her shoulders.

"James be careful!" said Lucy laughing as she almost dropped the spoon in her hands. "You're going to make me burn myself! Wait until I'm done cooking and then I'll give you your hugs!"

"But I need you now," said James as he ran his lips across her shoulder blade and to her neck, "More than you will ever know."

James readied his fangs and was just about to sink them into Lucy's flesh when Lucy whipped around on him. She saw his fangs and screamed.

"James!" screamed Lucy. "You're a vampire!"

"I didn't know how to tell you," said James as he retracted his fangs.

"How long have you been like this?" asked Lucy.

"About a month," said James.

"You were about to suck my blood weren't you?" asked Lucy staring at James as if he was a complete stranger and not her boyfriend.

"Yes," said James. "I'm so thirsty. I'm sorry babe. I'll try to gain control of myself again. Please forgive me."

James tried to step toward and Lucy immediately stepped back.

"Stay away from me," she said terrified.

James's heart ached. He was so conflicted. He loved her yet he thirsted for her. It was so hard to push his monster side aside.

"Can't we talk about this Lucy?" asked James. "It's our one year anniversary after all."

"James, no. The time for talking has passed. Get out of my apartment," said Lucy, tears falling silently down her cheeks.

"Babe please..." begged James, trying to fight back the urge to cry himself.

"I'm calling the cops and letting them know about you and what you've become," said Lucy. "Leave while you still have the chance."

"Lucy, please. I made a mistake. I love you," whimpered James.

"I love you too James. That's why I'm letting you have a head start," said Lucy. "Goodbye James."

James turned his back on Lucy and fled her apartment. He had no idea where to go now. He was heartbroken and knew that there was no place that he could call home.

He never thought in his whole life that he would be a vampire.

He never thought in his whole life that he would be dying to be human again.


	2. Your Worst Nightmare

Chapter 2

James leaned against the slimy brick wall as he ran into the parking garage that was a couple of blocks away from the Palm Woods. He had to try to determine his next move. He wasn't tired; he just needed a moment to process a reasonable plan of action.

"How come this had to happen to me?" asked James as he turned and punched the wall, mortar and chucks of brick flying off it.

He tried to remember the day he turned into a vampire, but it was a fuzzy one. He didn't really want to remember what happened to him anyway.

James could hear the sound of sierns in the distance. Lucy had called the authorities. What were they going to do to handle him though? He was a vampire. He'd be able to get away from them.

The sirens grew louder in intensity as they got closer. James knew that, even though he would be able to beat the officers, he couldn't stay here. He had to move on.

With ease he moved throughout the parking garage and made it to a teal car. He crouched behind it and stayed there for a minute as he saw the headlights flash into the parking garage. If he could manage to make it into the car, he'd be able to get away. He didn't know who said that vampires could turn into bats because it was so not true. Else it would have been useful right about now.

The headlights of the police car grew brighter as it passed by where James was hiding. James pressed his back against the cool metal of the car, hoping that the police officers were distracted and weren't looking in his direction while they made their sweep. Once the police car turned onto the next section of the parking garage, James got up from his crouched position and gripped the door handle. He pulled on it and the door immediately flew open.

He got into the driver's seat and went to work trying to figure out how to hot wire the car. He knew that he had only a limited amount of time to work on the wires before the police car would come back around. He reached down and yanked at a few wires, trying to reconnect them so they'd make the car work. As he was working on hot wiring the car, he heard a gun click into position. He looked to his right and saw a girl standing there, shakily holding a gun in front of her. How had he not noticied her approaching?

"Stop what you're doing and get out of my car," she said in a wobbly voice.

James didn't move.

"Are you deaf? I said get out of the car," she said, her voice squeaking.

"Why, who might you be?" asked James in a slick manner turning to look at her.

"I don't need to tell you anything," said the girl.

"You don't have any need to be scared," said James.

"I don't huh?" asked the girl. "Then why are police sweeping the parking garage right now? Are you who they are after?"

"Give me the keys," said James ignoring her question. "And I'll leave you alone."

"No," she said shifting the gun in her hands. "This gun _is _loaded and I'm not afraid to use it."

"Of course you aren't," said James with a small smile. He let out a sigh and said, "I was really hoping that you wouldn't make me do this the hard way."

James got out of the car and approached the girl. She held the gun in front of her. James walked toward her until the point of her gun was pressed into his chest.

"Go ahead and fire the gun. It won't hurt me," said James.

"Who are you?" she asked in a terrified whisper.

"I'm your worst nightmare," he said as he flashed his fangs at her.

She gasped and dropped the gun. James gripped her tightly by the arm and dragged her toward the car. He threw her into the backseat so hard that she got knocked unconcious as she hit her head on the door. James found the keys in one of her pockets and grabbed them. He threw the door shut and got into the driver's side. He put the wires back the way they were and started the car with the keys.

Bringing the girl along was dangerous he knew, but she might prove useful later on. He floored the car into reverse and spun out of the parking space. With his hands firmly on the steering wheel, he raced out of the parking garage and down the street. James started to drive away from the only life he had ever known.

As he was driving down the road, he looked in the rearview mirror once to look at his unconcious companion.

_"How could you do this James? You aren't a monster."_

"Go away," growled James.

_"James Diamond is still in there. He isn't dead."_

"Of course he's dead," snapped James aloud to himself. "I'm dead!"

_"Remember to believe in yourself. You have the power to be the person you want to be."_

"Great," said James to the conscience in his head. "Then right now I want to be the person who makes it through the night without a headache."

With that, James turned on the radio and blared it so he could drown out the voice in his head. The tune on the radio drowned out the voice in his head so much that as James turned onto another road, he started to sing along.

_"Oh oh,_

_We are all misfits living in a world on fire._

_Oh oh,_

_Singing for the people like us, the people like us."_


	3. My friend, the vampire

Chapter 3

RING...RING...RING

"Mom can you please get the phone?" asked Kendall. He turned back to face Logan, Carlos, and Katie. "I'm going to beat all of you this round!"

Logan was dealing out the cards when Mrs. Knight appeared in the room. She had her hand over the receiver.

"Kendall, it's Lucy. She wants to speak with you."

Kendall thought that that was weird that Lucy was calling him right now. Wasn't she suppose to be on her one year anniversary date with James? Kendall walked over to Mrs. Knight and took the phone.

"Lucy, what's up?" asked Kendall as he walked into another room.

"Kendall...it's James..."

Kendall could tell by her voice that she was scared. What was she so scared about it?

"What about James? Isn't your date going well?" asked Kendall.

"It was until he tried to suck my blood," replied Lucy.

"He tired to what now?" asked Kendall bewildered.

"The gig is up Kendall. I mean, how long were you going to hide the fact that James is a vampire from me?"

Kendall thought for sure that he had heard Lucy wrong. James a vampire? That was like saying the moon was made of cheese.

"Are you kidding Lucy?" asked Kendall having to stifle a laugh.

"No I'm not kidding," said Lucy her voice dead serious.

"James tried to...he's a..."

"Yes," said Lucy. "I thought you knew."

"No I didn't know!" stated Kendall immediately reaching up to feel his neck. Did James bite him when he wasn't paying attention?

"Kendall, I called the police..."

"What are the police going to do about a vampire?" asked Kendall.

"The only thing they can do...," said Lucy trailing off.

"Oh no! No! They can't kill him!" stated Kendall.

"What else are they suppose to do Kendall? He's a vampire. He's a danger to society! It hurts me to think of them killing James, but he isn't the same anymore. He's a monster now," said Lucy.

"No, I won't let them kill him," said Kendall.

"Well then what are you going to do Kendall?" asked Lucy. "You can't just let vampire James run free!"

"I'll go after him," said Kendall finally.

"You'll go after him? You realize that you're toast right?" asked Lucy. "You realize you could get killed?"

"I know," said Kendall. "But I can't let my friend get hurt."

"You're insane," said Lucy. "But good luck. Make sure you bring your garlic."

Kendall hung up the phone and stood there in thought for a minute. James a vampire. How did this happen? When did it happen? Why would he hide this from them?

Kendall walked back into the other room and handed the phone back to his Mom.

"Is Lucy okay?" asked Mrs. Knight worried.

Kendall didn't respond; he was still lost in his thoughts.

"What's wrong Kendall?" asked Logan as he tore his eyes off the cards in his hands.

"I've got to go find James," said Kendall.

"What for? Isn't he suppose to be with Lucy?" asked Carlos.

"Yes, but he's...he's...he's unwell. I have to go find him."

Without another word, Kendall walked into his bedroom. He had to pack a bag. There was no telling how long he'd be away from home. As he packed some clothes into his bag, he heard Logan and Carlos enter the room.

"Where are you going Kendall?" asked Logan. "What aren't you telling us?"

"Yea Kendall. What's wrong with James?" asked Carlos.

Kendall took a deep breath. He still couldn't believe what he was about to tell them.

"James has turned into a vampire and I have to go after him before he hurts someone," blurted out Kendall.

"James is a vampire?" asked Logan. "For real?"

"That's so cool!" stated Carlos.

"Carlos, he almost killed Lucy," said Kendall turning around and giving him a look that read "is it cool now"?

"Oh," said Carlos looking down at the floor.

"I have to go after him before he hurts anyone else," said Kendall as he turned back around to go back to packing.

"You don't know the first thing when it comes to vampires!" exclaimed Logan.

"If I don't go after him, the police will. Lucy already reported James and you know how the police will handle the situation," said Kendall. "I have no choice."

"Then we're going with you," stated Logan.

"What?" asked Kendall turning around to face them once more. "Are you serious? You do realize that you're putting your lives at stake by doing this?"

"Yep," said Carlos. "But we can't let you do this alone."

"We stick together," added Logan.

A smile lit up Kendall's face, "Alright you can tag along, but you can't tell my Mom or Katie because they'll flip out."

"Okay," they both agreed.

"Now," said Kendall as he turned back to packing, "We strategize!"


	4. Road Trip

Chapter 4

The girl groaned as she started to come around. She couldn't remember a thing about what had happened last night. She had an awful headache and she felt for sure that her skull was broken. With shaking fingers she reached up to feel her throbbing head. She felt a bump but there was no bleeding at least.

She slowly sat up on the back seat and tried to remember how she got there. She remembered going out to her car so she could go to the store and pick out a movie to watch. She had wanted something scary or suspenseful; it was the mood that she had felt in that night. She remembered walking to her car to see someone trying to hotwire it. She had pulled her handheld gun from her purse and had pointed it at him. Then he had flashed her his fangs. Oh right, she had been kidnapped by a vampire.

"Morning," said the girl as she turned her head to see him still sitting in the driver's seat, driving the car down the road. She couldn't let him know that she was scared.

"Morning," he grumbled.

"Where are we going?"

"Far away from here," he snapped. "Keep quiet okay?"

"My aren't you pleasant to be around," she commented, deciding that the best course of action to take was to disguise her fear with witty comments.

"Please," grumpled James.

"Better," she said with a smug smile.

She leaned back against the leather of the backseat and rubbed her head.

"You know you could have been more gentle with me..."

"It was your own fault! You were in the wrong place at the wrong time!" snapped James.

"No it's your fault! You stole my car!" she shouted.

James momentarily took his eyes off the road and swiveled around to look at her. Fire burned in his eyes and he flashed his fangs.

"Okay, I get the message. I'll tone it down some," she said.

James turned back around in the seat and refocused on the road.

"What's your name?" asked James.

"My name? You want to know _my_ name?"' she asked. "How about you tell me your name first?"

"My name is James," he said. "That's all of my name that you need to know. Now it's your turn."

"My name is Melody," she said.

"Melody," scoffed James, "Can you sing or something?"

"Actually yes I can. I'm trying to be an aspiring singer," she commented tartly. "I'm hoping my career doesn't get cut short because of you."

_"See James? You should really just turn the car around and turn to your friends for help."_

"Shut up!" exclaimed James aloud, addressing the voice in his head.

Melody thought that James was talking to her and immediately became quiet.

"You could have said it nicer," she murmured.

_"James..."_

James gripped the steering wheel tighter in his hands, turning his knuckles white. He wanted desperately to listen to the voice in his head, but he was a vampire. He knew that turning back would only cause him more grief. He knew that there was never going to be a way that he'd be cured, so why try to cling to what humanity he had left? There was no hope. He might as well just except the fact that he was a monster now and he would always be.

* * *

"So we have it planned then?" asked Kendall.

They had been discussing plans for the past couple of hours.

"Yes," said Logan, "But there is still one more thing that we need to discuss."

"What's that?" asked Kendall.

"Where are we going to get our weapons?"

"We ARE NOT going to kill James!" stated Kendall. "There is no need for weapons!"

"Kendall, James is a vampire. He thirsts for blood. He could want to suck our blood. Are you really going to go try to confront James unarmed and run the risk of dying?" asked Logan.

Kendall sat there in thought. Of course he wanted to continue living, but the thought of killing one of his best friends was unthinkable. He didn't want it to come to that. However, no matter how he felt, there was always the slight chance that Logan was right. He would be stupid to go unarmed.

"Fine, we'll pack weapons but we will avoid using them at all possible costs!" declared Kendall.

"How long does it take Carlos to use the bathroom?" asked Logan changing subjects. "He's been gone for at least fifteen minutes now!"

"I'm back!" declared Carlos as he re-entered the room as if on cue.

Carlos entered the bedroom with an arm full of garlic strings. Kendall and Logan's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets.

"Where did you get all the garlic?" asked Kendall.

He knew that his Mom rarely used garlic in her recipes and even when she did, she never used _that_ much.

"Went to the market on the corner and bought it," said Carlos.

"You know that there is a chance that the garlic might not repel James and we'll just end up being a stinky corpse right?" asked Logan.

"NO ONE IS GOING TO DIE!" shouted Kendall rising to his feet.

Carlos looked unsure now. He was still clutching the garlic in his hands and looking at Kendall weirdly.

"So can I take that to mean you want the garlic?" asked Carlos innocently.

* * *

Kendall climbed into the driver's seat of the Big Time Rush mobile, a.k.a. the maroon convertiable that Gustavo had purchased for them after their successful music video shoot for "The City Is Ours". Logan climbed into the passenger's seat and Carlos got in the back, all of the backpacks beside him.

"Okay," said Logan. "Where are we going?"

"Lets think," said Kendall. "Where would James retreat to if he was feeling unsafe and unwanted?"

Logan slouched back on the white leather of the seat while Carlos fooled with the straps on their backpacks; all of them trying to think of where James might have gone.

"I've got it!" shouted Kendall suddenly.

"Well, spit it out. Where do you think he went?" asked Logan looking over at Kendall.

Kendall turned the key in the ignition and gripped the steering wheel tight. He knew exactly where James would go. Kendall pressed his foot down on the gas pedal before replying to Logan's question.

"I think that he went home," said Kendall as he started to drive out of the parking lot of the Palm Woods.

"Home," said Logan. "Like Minnesota home?"

"Yep," said Kendall. "It's time for a road trip!"

Kendall pulled onto the main street, which was bustling with cars, setting his sights on driving toward where James more than likely went. As they started to drive down the street and out of sight of the Palm Woods, Logan cried out, "What's that smell?"

Carlos smiled a sheepish smile and replied, "Sorry. It's the garlic!"

"CARLOS!"

* * *

**AN: Review please! :D**


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